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Funny Thanksgiving Poem, Turkey's Lament
by Jennifer
(Jesup, Georgia, USA)
You could eat roast beef, some chicken, some jerky,
why must you eat me...a poor helpless turkey?
To Ben Franklin I was noble, full of grace,
but all you want is to stuff me in your face.
I never cause trouble, never do any wrong,
yet I only come out with the dinner gong.
Of course I am juicy and my skin is tasty,
I really can't blame you, but don't be so hasty.
You could have pheasant, quail, or fish,
But no, it is always me on your dish.
Okay, I am done, just one thing to say,
"Happy Thanksgiving to all, Happy Turkey Day!"
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Funny Thanksgiving Cat Poem
by Jeanne Clarke
(Baltimore, MD, USA)
Resting After Thanksgiving Dinner
His little paws patter on the kitchen floor
as Mom opens up the oven door.
He looks at her impatiently
as she bastes the golden brown turkey.
"Not yet," she says, and he glides away
off to chase imaginary prey.
But soon he tires, settles down,
and dozes, dreams of a turkey brown.
It's his dream so there's not a bone,
just turkey meat - his alone.
He awakens when he hears a clatter,
sees food on the table, the bird on a platter.
He starts to yowl and meow loud and clear.
Mom walks to the kitchen and says "Look here!"
He starts to follow, the smell is a lure,
there's a plate on the floor, its turkey for sure!
He eats and eats till there's room for no more.
What a neat little eater - not a crumb on the floor!
Later that night, he settles in mom's lap
for a purry, fuzzy, kitty cat nap.
"Thanksgiving Day is surely the best!"
he dreams of goodies he'll eat after his rest.
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Funny Thanksgiving Workday Poem
by Ben
(Concord, NH, USA)
Thanksgiving starts at the break of dawn.
I put salt in my coffee as I start to yawn.
A full day in the kitchen's what lies ahead,
all I can think of is going back to bed.
People start arriving, I put dishes on the side,
pop another coffee and my eyes are open wide.
Two more coffees later, things start to go awry.
I put pumpkin on the turkey and stuffing in the pie.
No-one seems to notice, they enjoy their fill.
I start getting coffee shakes and take a sleeping pill.
Everyone has gone now, all that’s left is some cake,
after my epic workday I’m now lying here awake.
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Funny First Thanksgiving Poem
by Josie
(East Texas, USA)
Just nineteen, a brand new bride, determination on my side
to serve Thanksgiving dinner to my husband and his tribe.
Recipes! I read so many, I could not even remember any.
Ham or turkey, pudding or pie? Cornbread dressing (or not), oh, my!
Three days left, still not a clue ‘bout what to cook and what to do.
When browsing through my local store, I saw an idea and much more.
Thanksgiving day dawned bright, serene, sipping coffee till ten fifteen.
The guests arrived in twos and threes. “Hello, how are you?” (what a breeze!)
The meal was scrumptious, company grand, better than doing it all by hand.
No tell-tale wrappers, boxes too, just compliments and praises true.
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Funny Thanksgiving Wild Turkey Poem
by Eli
(New Jersey, USA)
This year, in addition to giving thanks,
I thought I’d throw in some devious pranks,
if only to encourage tableside laughter
and stories to speak of for years after.
Saturday morning it’s a walk on the streets
to find the requisite veggies and meats.
After returning to my humble abode,
It was into the car and the open road.
The farm at the end of my scenic drive
actually sells turkeys that are still alive.
I bought one, caged and screaming like mad,
and drove it all the way back to my pad.
I deposited the caged bird in my back yard,
hoping I had not left it too scarred.
I needed it full of energy later
to make the scope of my prank greater.
After cooking the entire dinner overnight,
I stored the meat in the oven, out of sight.
I set the table and chose the wine
which would be best with turkey to dine.
As guests arrived, levels of cheer arose
and my friends sank deeper into repose –
I, however, as I served champagne
suffered anticipation I could barely contain.
When the time had come for us to feast,
my level of mischief only increased:
I told my friends there was one more chore
before we could the dinner explore.
"I thought this dinner might be atypical in form,
a slight deviation from the norm.
You see, the turkey which I have bought,
is right out back, and still needs to be caught!"
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