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Funny Belated Valentine Poem
by Tammy
(New York, NY, USA)
The card is signed, the table set,
flowers held by a tiny stuffed pet.
The wine is chilled, with glasses for two,
the chicken is that cordon bleu.
A heart shaped box filled with sweets,
he sets upon this table of treats.
Waiting for her to come enjoy,
this Valentine's Day for a girl and a boy.
It seems that she is running late,
for this special time, this special date.
A time that comes just once a year,
to show your love for someone dear.
He calls to ask if she's on her way,
she answers, "That was yesterday!"
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Funny Valentine Lovestruck Poem
by Josie
(East Texas, USA)
His heart aches when she passes by his desk on Monday morning,
causing his bifocal lens to fog up without warning.
Perspiration breaks out if she stops to say "Hello,"
forming large round circles at his armpits ("Oh Lord, no...")
He's muscled up the nerve to wish her "Happy Valentine..."
She smiles at him platonically, sends shivers up his spine.
He freezes up and turns bright red, his tongue is tied in knots.
The witty words he hoped to speak refuse to venture out.
She saves the day and fills the air with laughter ringing sweet,
"Happy Valentine to you as well, you’re stepping on my feet!"
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Funny Valentine Poem For Seniors
by Julie
(Reno, NV, USA)
My dear, my love, my one and only,
my reason for joy (that’s no baloney),
you’re no longer young, you have hair on your toes,
you snore in your sleep, there's a wart on your nose.
You’ve aged there’s no doubt, I have too.
In our old age, dear, I still love you,
more than I did when young and pretty,
that’s why I wrote this Valentine ditty.
We’ve been together for a lifetime it seems,
through good times and bad we’ve shared our dreams.
We’ve grown old and saggy, turned gray together.
Skin that was soft now wrinkled like leather.
You with your walker, me with my cane,
we shuffle together down life’s winding lane.
Together so long now, I’m yours and you’re mine.
We’re older than dirt now, Valentine.
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Funny Valentine Perfection Poem
by Jacob Price
(New York, New York)
Forgive me love, there is much I meant to do today.
I meant to pay utilities and take the dog to play.
You told me to get 2 percent, I slipped and grabbed the Whole.
You asked me to pick out a film ... of course, you found it droll.
I meant to go pick up our son when practice ends at four.
I planned to fix the washer and repair the chipped tile floor.
I took too long a shower, til the hot water was gone.
I ate the very last cereal bar, tossed the wrapper on the lawn.
Forgive me, I’m not perfect. I want to apologize,
'cause on this special day you are my world, please realize.
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