Yoga, My Funny New Years Resolution

by Jaishankar
(India)

Three years ago I took a funny New Years resolution: to become a "yogi." That day I visited Philix, an old friend of mine from school days. I found him sitting on the floor in a yogic posture, eyes closed in deep meditation.

I was unsure whether to call him or not, so I sat near him.

After some moments he opened his eyes and looked at me with an all-knowing smile. I told him I had come to take him to have some liquor together. On hearing this, his smile disappeared and he was suddenly cross with me. He told me that I should stop these material activities and give up smoking and drinking. He told me to start observing spiritual disciplines, taking his example, or I would be doomed. He gave me a lecture for at least 2 hours.

I was so impressed by this "guru" that I decided to quit all my material activities and become a spiritual yogi at the start of the New Year.

When the first day of the New Year arrived, I got up at 4 o'clock in the morning and chanted some mantras loudly as instructed by my guru. I gave up smoking, drinking and even non-vegetarian food.

My guru advised me every now and then. I also consulted him in-between formal lessons for extra guidance.

My parents watched the changes happening in me. They were quite astonished as well as a little worried about me. Mom told dad they should take steps to get me married as soon as possible, or else I might become a yogi. She was in tears.

My fierce spirituality lasted for almost 8 months.

One day I found myself sleeping till 8 o'clock as I used to do. I felt a great guilty consciousness at this sin, and was afraid for the wrath of my guru.

I did not waste any time. I went immediately to his house to admit failure and ask forgiveness.

I knocked at his door, his mother answered. I asked for Philix, and she told me he was still sleeping because he was a little boozed up yesterday. Upon hearing this, I first stood like a statue. Then burst into laughter.

I never again took up a New Years resolution to be spiritual!